Learning to Embrace the Hard Things

 Over the last year, I’ve developed a habit of starting my day by writing down something I’m grateful for from the previous day. There are days that I’m not able to get to it (toddlers are, unfortunately, not the most predictable at all times), but I have tried really hard to put myself in that mindset each morning.

I really struggle to see the good sometimes, so I need the reminder that, even when everything about the day felt awful, there was something good about it.

And, by the grace of God, I’ve always been able to find something.

Anyway, with yesterday being Thanksgiving, I decided to make a longer list. I didn’t get through everything, by any means (again, toddler). But I realized something as I came to the end of it.

I want to be grateful for the hard things in my life.

I have really struggled recently through the many daily challenges of raising a small human. It’s been frustrating and exhausting. And I’m not proud of my reactions to everything.

But I also feel like God is teaching me something. Hard times are where sanctification happens; they are where we grow, if we let it happen.

I’ve been reading a book in my moms’ group called M is for Mama: A Rebellion Against Mediocre Motherhood by Abbie Halberstadt. And I truly believe God is using it to change my life. I’ll probably talk about it more fully once I finish it, but for now I just wanted to highlight what she says about this topic. She has a lot of good nuggets about embracing hard things.

“He will absolutely give you more than you can handle – of both joy and pain. He might pile on the trouble so heavily you feel you will suffocate beneath its weight (I’ve been there). Conversely, he might slather you so thickly with joys and yesses that you’re fairly dripping with a goodness you know you don’t deserve and could never repay (been there too). Both are blessings. Both are ways that reveal his callings to us. Both require us to shuffle forward with tiny steps of faith and outstretched palms of gratitude.” (p. 54)

“Moment by moment, day by day, ‘precept upon precept, line upon line, here a little, there a little' (Isaiah 28:10 ESV), we catch glimpses of the ways in which the Lord is molding us into his likeness. There is no shortcut, and there is no generic formula. We must choose to trust in his goodness and be willing to let him tear away at our rough shell until our true skin is revealed, vulnerable and pliable – and bearing the marks of his grace.” (p. 55)

“But I have learned that doing hard things, tedious things, needful things, is, in itself, a reward at times.” (p. 72)

“The Lord taught me through episodes of tears and frustration, and sometimes outright clench-fisted fit throwing, that the first thing I needed to train in myself was my reliance on him.” (p. 100)

I think we get it in our heads sometimes that life as a Christian will be easy. And Jesus does say, in Matthew 11:28-30,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

But he also says, in Luke 9:23, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” And in John 16:33, “In this world you will have trouble.”

I don’t think we’re ever promised an easy life as Christians. And definitely not as mothers. I don’t think I went into parenthood expecting it to be easy. But I definitely thought I would be a lot better at the things that it turns out I struggle with.

That struggle of “I want” versus “God wills” is the key to human experience, honestly. And I find it to be such an important key to this season in my life. Struggles are part of this time. Hard things are just par for the course. Toddlers are hard. But am I going to keep railing against what’s hard, or am I going to submit my will to God’s and let Him teach me something?

The latter is what I want. So I’m choosing to be grateful for the hard things:

For the opportunity to learn patience when my daughter says and does the same thing over and over and over.

For the opportunity to trust God when it feels like she will never behave.

For the opportunity to learn joy in the midst of frustration and to choose gentleness instead of anger.

I can’t say that I feel grateful in the moment. I’m not even to the point of looking at the day and being grateful for the hard parts. For now, I’m choosing to be grateful because I know God is faithful. I know this is a season of growth. And I know I will look back and be grateful. So, even when I don’t feel thankful, I’m going to act myself into a new way of feeling.

And I will just have to keep trusting God to make it true.

Have you tried to be thankful for the hard things? I’d love to discuss it in the comments!

Thoughts from Philippians and Colossians

Continuing with my journey through Paul's letters, here are some thoughts from Philippians and Colossians. For more context, watch the Bible Project's overview videos here and here. 

Phil 1:9-11 "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ..."

As Christians, we are supposed to be as innocent as doves and as wise as serpents. Thus, our love should not be empty-headed. Instead, as we love God, we should grow in discernment and knowledge of Him, which enables us to love others more fully. I really love this picture of how love should look, too. Especially in close relationships like spouses and families, we should desire for our love to abound in knowledge and insight.

Phil 1:27 "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ."

Paul was saying specifically that whether he lived or died should not change the Philippians' behavior. Our conduct should not be based on circumstances but rather on Christ.

Phil 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others."

Christ does not call us to look out only for ourselves. Instead, He gives us an incredibly countercultural message to let go of ourselves, to lay down our rights, to seek unity with God's people, and to love everyone. This feels easy sometimes, but most times it's very hard. We have to lay down our own pride, our desires, our me-first attitudes. But, if we will submit it all to Jesus, He will give us His heart for others. We just have to be willing. 

Phil 2:14-15 "Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, 'children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.' Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life."

Stand firm. Love God, love people. Seek unity. Don't complain or argue. Over and over again, Paul emphasizes these concepts. This is the church I long to be a part of. More importantly, this is the person I long to be. I want to walk in His ways. I want to seek unity, to love others above myself, and to live in joy.

Phil 3:7-8 "But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for Whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage..."

Phil 3:13b-14 "...Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Neither past accomplishments nor past failures should have a hold on us. Without Jesus, nothing we do is worth much; in Him, our sins are forgiven. Thus, we can press forward in God's strength.

Phil 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice!"

Such a simple directive, and yet we lose sight of it so easily. I lose sight of it so very easily. We depend on circumstances to be happy, yet true joy comes from knowing Jesus. So I can rejoice always, because He is always with me.

Phil 4:12-13 "...I have learned the secret of living content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him Who gives me strength."

I have not yet learned this secret. It is the contentment I desire. I have been very blessed with my husband's job. We have plenty, and I don't feel a strong pull to need more. But I do worry sometimes about having less. It scares me sometimes. Yet I know that God has always provided, in every stage and season of my life. Our God takes care of His people. I have seen it, and I can trust in that.

Col 1:3-5 "We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God's people - the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven..."

Paul had never met the Colossian church, but he was encouraged by their faith. I want my faith to be evident and an encouragement to others. The Colossians, too, grasped what the Gospel meant, that they now had an eternal hope in heaven. And that hope created in them faith and love.

Col 2:6-10 "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority."

This makes me think of that old song, "Just like a tree planted by the water, I shall not be moved." I want to be like that tree, deeply rooted in Jesus and His Word, growing in Him and strengthened by Him.

And if we are rooted in Christ, then we don't have to get caught up in man-made philosophies and regulations. We have true freedom in Christ. I want to embrace that in action, not just in mind. My study note says, "Take some risks - God will guide you. Give more generously - God will supply. Love more freely - God will energize you. Say 'can do' more often - God will amaze you."

 Col 3:12-14 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Col 4:5-6 "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

This is such an important reminder. In general, we should not be brash and combative with either fellow believers or nonbelievers. We certainly should never be unkind or use filthy language. Our conversations should be full of grace and seasoned with salt. What potent imagery that is! Because, on the flip side, we don't want to be mice, tiptoeing around every opportunity to say anything of substance. We don't want our words to be so bland that they have no impact, but we also shouldn't be so salty that people spit us out.

I found each of these books to be dense with great insights and practical application, though each is fairly short. I look forward to reading them again with a new perspective. What have you been studying lately? I'd love to hear about in the comments!

October's Reads: Historical Romance

So, I intended to write and post this last Friday. But I was sick, and things just got a little out of hand. Anyway, in October, the genre I was supposed to be reading was Historical Romance. This is definitely a favorite of mine, and I really enjoyed the books I read last month.

I started the month by reading An Hour Unspent by Roseanna M. White. This is the third book in her Shadows Over England series, which, like all her books, is fantastic. 

(From Roseanna's website)

Once London’s top thief, Barclay Pearce has turned his back on his life of crime and now uses his skills for a nation at war. But not until he rescues a clockmaker’s daughter from a mugging does he begin to wonder what his future might hold.

Evelina Manning has constantly fought for independence, but she certainly never meant for it to inspire her fiancé to end the engagement and enlist in the army. When the intriguing man who saved her returns to the Manning residence to study clockwork repair with her father, she can’t help being interested. But she soon learns that nothing with Barclay Pearce is as simple as it seems.

As 1915 England plunges ever deeper into war, the work of an ingenious clockmaker may give England an unbeatable military edge—and Germany realizes it as well. Evelina’s father soon finds his whole family in danger—and it may just take a reformed thief to steal the time they need to escape it.

I loved this book! I really can never find anything bad to say about Roseanna's books. She creates such rich characters and settings. I thought the theme in this one was particularly striking. 

I also read two of Roseanna's other books. I reread The Number of Love, the first book in her The Codebreakers series. 

(From Roseanna's website)

Three years into the Great War, England’s greatest asset is their intelligence network—field agents risking their lives to gather information, and codebreakers able to crack every German telegram. Margot De Wilde thrives in the environment of the secretive Room 40, where she spends her days deciphering intercepted messages. But when her world is turned upside down by an unexpected loss, for the first time in her life numbers aren’t enough.

Drake Elton returns wounded from the field, followed by an enemy that just won’t give up. He’s smitten quickly by the too-intelligent Margot, but how to convince a girl who lives entirely in her mind that sometimes life’s answers lie in the heart?

Amidst biological warfare, encrypted letters, and a German spy who wants to destroy not just them, but others they love, Margot and Drake will have to work together to save them all from the very secrets that brought them together.

The heroine in this story, Margot, is a very different person than me. She lives in a world of numbers and logic and has little tolerance for the "nonsense" outside that bubble. Yet she never comes across as cold. I love the way she is written; I could still relate to her even though we're totally different people. I liked the message, too. The description speaks to life's answers lying in the heart, but it's not in a wishy-washy Disney way. It's a real, grounded, biblical way, and I thought that was awesome. 

Book 2 in that series, On Wings of Devotion, is one I bought recently and hadn't yet made time to read.

(From Roseanna's website)

All of England thinks Major Phillip Camden a monster–a man who deliberately caused the deaths of his squadron. But he would have preferred to die that day with his men rather than be recruited to the Admiralty’s codebreaking division. The threats he receives daily are no great surprise and, in his opinion, well deserved.

As nurse Arabelle Denler observes the so-dubbed “Black Heart,” she sees something far different: a hurting man desperate for mercy. And when their families and paths twist together unexpectedly, she realizes she has a role to play in his healing–and some of her own to do as well.

This lived up to my hopes! Great characters, an interesting plot, and really fascinating details (in the first book, too) about the inner workings of Room 40, the hub of British intelligence during World War I. I have the third book in this series, A Portrait of Loyalty, on hold at the library, so I'm excited for that one to come in.

The last (and only non-Roseanna White) book I read last month was Chasing Shadows by Lynn Austin.

(From Lynn's website)

A story of three women whose lives are instantly changed when the Nazis invade the neutral Netherlands, forcing each into a complicated dance of choice and consequence.

Lena is a wife and mother who farms alongside her husband in the tranquil countryside. Her faith has always been her compass, but can she remain steadfast when the questions grow increasingly complex and the answers could mean the difference between life and death? 

Lena's daughter Ans has recently moved to the bustling city of Leiden, filled with romantic notions of a new job and young Dutch police officer. But when she is drawn into Resistance work, her idealism collides with the dangerous reality that comes with fighting the enemy.

Miriam is a young Jewish violinist who immigrated for the safety she though Holland would offer. She finds love in her new country, but as her family settles in Leiden, the events that follow will test them in ways she could never have imagined.

The Nazi invasion propels these women onto paths that cross in unexpected, sometimes-heartbreaking ways. Yet the story that unfolds illuminates the surprising endurance of the human spirit and the power of faith and love to carry us through.

After three books set during World War I, it was a nice change of pace to move forward about 25 years. I really liked the characters in this book, and I was very interested in each of their stories; I didn't find myself wishing to get back to a different character than I was reading about in that moment like sometimes happens with multiple viewpoints. Books about war are always tricky, because there's that balance of how much do you show of war's evil. I felt like some of that was slightly missing from this book - the gravitas, perhaps. Which is weird, because it wasn't all rosy. I think she approached the subject seriously and included consequences and danger. And I was clearly compelled, because I finished the book very quickly. I think I subconsciously compare most WWII books to the Zion Covenant series by Bodie and Brock Thoene. I freely admit that those are much too intense for some people, but they do a great job of showing the evil of the Nazi regime without getting too lost in it. So perhaps I was doing some comparisons deep in my brain; I don't know. 

I also spent much of the book comparing the Dutch resistance to Nazi occupation with the Norwegian resistance. Side note: I did a paper on the latter during college, and I remember reading comparisons to the Dutch resistance, which was significantly more overt. Some historians say there was no resistance in Norway. I disagree, but I'm getting off topic. Anyway, I found myself comparing along the way while I read this book. So, I don't know if that rambling made any sense, but I did enjoy this story. 

So those were my reads from October. What have you been reading lately? I'd love to hear about it in the comments!

Thoughts from Galatians and Ephesians

If you are like me, then you probably grew up memorizing the books of the Bible, possibly via song. And, because of the rhythm in which I memorized them, I always visualize the letters to the Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, and Colossians as smashed between the larger 1&2 Corinthians and 1&2 Thessalonians. Does this have any bearing on today's post? Probably not. But it was really interesting to spend some time in each of these epistles, seeing how Paul addressed each church's individual situation and struggles. The Bible Project's videos for each book are, as always, quite helpful: watch the ones for Galatians and Ephesians. 

Gal 1:8 "But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God's curse!"

This is an affirmation of the supremacy of the Gospel and a reminder that appearances can be deceiving. The Gospel does not change, though people often try to add to it or dilute it. In this letter, Paul refutes the arguments of Judaizers, who claimed that Gentile Christians must adopt Jewish laws and customs. Today, people try to say sin isn't really bad, completely undermining the purpose of Jesus' death and resurrection. Both approaches are wrong, and Paul gives a very clear "Woe to you!" message to anyone peddling them. We must be very careful to present only the true Gospel, without adding to or taking anything away from it.

Gal 2:14 "When I saw that he was not acting in line with the truth of the Gospel, I said to Cephas in front of them all, 'You are a Jew, yet you live as a Gentile and not as a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs?'"

Paul was calling out Peter's hypocrisy over the issue of "unclean" foods. Paul didn't let himself be intimidated by Peter's status; he saw damage being done, so he said something. We should not be hyper-critical people, looking for any inkling of weakness in order to pounce. That is not the way of grace. But it is important to speak up when those close to us are falling away from Truth. Whether Paul and Peter were close is hard to say. But Peter was a church leader, and his actions had a widespread impact. Paul had to say something lest others be led astray. It's important to speak the truth in love and extend grace, but it's also important to hold our leaders accountable.

Gal 3:7,9 "Understand, then, that those who have faith are children of Abraham... So those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith."

No one has ever been saved by the Law. Instead, God has always counted faith as righteousness. 

Gal 4:6-7 "Because you are His sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit Who calls out, 'Abba, Father.' So you are no longer a slave, but God's child; and since you are His child, God has made you also an heir."

Paul uses this adoption argument often throughout his letters. It is such a powerful picture of what God does for us. We deserve nothing good from God on our own; in fact, we were in active rebellion to God. Yet He loves us so much that He created a bridge of reconciliation through His Son. He then goes even further and adopts us, making us part of His family. That is truly incredible!

Gal 5:13-14 "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

My study note speaks to the difference between "freedom to sin and freedom to serve." There is really no such thing as freedom to sin - indulging the desires of the flesh really just means re-yoking yourself to Satan. Instead, we are set free from the power of sin and to serve others in love. My study note further talks about the dangers of dissension when we lose that love and unity. I am a very critical person. I'm not proud of it, but I've always struggled with it. Especially at church, I struggle not to nitpick. But I don't want to be like that. I want a heart of grace that looks for positives instead of negatives, a heart that desires unity and not discord.

Gal 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Eph 1:18-19 "I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people, and His incomparably great power for us who believe..."

Eph 2:10 "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

I love the imagery of being God's handiwork. He created us with intention and as a work of beauty that He delights in. And He created us for a purpose. That's encouraging.

Eph 3:12 "In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence."

Eph 3:17b-19 "... And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all of the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

This is such a beautiful, rich prayer! I think I want to hang it on our wall, honestly. My study note: "God's love is total, says Paul. It reaches every corner of our experience. It is wide - it covers the breadth of our own experience, and it reaches out to the whole world. God's love is long - it continues the length of our lives. It is high - it rises to the heights of our celebration and elation. His love is deep - it reaches to the depths of discouragement, despair, and even death."

Eph 4:2-3 "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."

Time and time again, Paul comes back to this concept of unity. We are not called to divisiveness or petty disagreements. That is the way of the world. Instead, we are called to follow one God and embrace what unites us, loving each other despite our differences.

Eph 4:26-27 "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

Anger is a powerful, dangerous emotion. Feeling angry is not a sin, but it can very easily lead to actions that are sin. Seething anger easily turns to resentment, and Satan loves resentment. He slips in and feeds the flames, and that's not good for anyone. It's okay to feel angry, but it's important to learn how to process that anger. Then, once you have processed it, let it go, seek reconciliation, and don't come back to it. I can be guilty of dealing with my anger or hurt partially but then coming back to it the next time something hurts. That's not good, and it's not biblical. Forgiveness is total.

Eph 5:18-20 "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Eph 6:4 "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

Parenting should not be about me and what I want. Instead, it's all about leading this little one to Christ. This is so hard! I definitely need Jesus' help, because on my own I so easily revert to thinking it's all about me.

Eph 6:18 "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people."

This is a reminder to me that 1) Prayer is extremely important and 2) God wants to hear all our prayers, not just the ones that sound pretty and important. 

So, those are my thoughts from reading Galatians and Ephesians. What do you think? I'd love to discuss this in the comments! 

 

September's Reads: Literary Fiction

 So, September did not quite live up to my hopes in terms of reading. But I blame that on two things: 1) My library books just haven't come in when I expected them to and 2) We're potty training, and that takes up a huge amount of time and focus. September's genre was supposed to be Literary Fiction, which is really just a catch-all term for things that don't fit neatly into other genres. Honestly, I didn't read anything this month that could be considered literary fiction. But I'm okay with that.

Most of what I read this month was from Robin Jones Gunn. I started with a couple of "lost novellas" collected in her book Departures: Two Rediscovered Stories of Christy Miller and Sierra Jensen. 

(From Christianbook.com)

Join Christy Miller and Sierra Jensen in these two rediscovered stories. Both stories, which slightly overlap, take place one summer when both girls take vacation trips. In Now Boarding at Gate 10, Christy and her family are travelling to Wisconsin for her grandparents' 50th anniversary party. Once there in her old hometown, Christy runs into an old school crush, Matthew, and sees what life could have been if she never moved.

In In the Event of a Water Landing, Sierra is taking a trip with her friend Jana's family to Montana. On the way, Sierra and her friends get to deal with cancelled flights, the Mall of America, and Sierra knocking out a security guard! Once they reach Montana, Sierra realizes that Jana is much more ready to blossom than Sierra is. Will Sierra figure out her way?

It was fun to go back in time in a sense reading these. I've been reading a lot of Christy Miller books lately, but those have all been set once she's grown up and married. Both of these stories are firmly set back when the girls were teenagers. Both are quick reads, and I enjoyed them!

I moved back into adult fiction with Gunn's book Canary Island Song. 

(From Christianbook.com)

When Carolyn's grown daughter tells her to "get a life," she decides to make a surprise visit to her mother in the Canary Islands. But it's Carolyn who's caught off balance when she sees Bryan, her high school sweetheart. It's been seven years since her husband died. Is it time for Carolyn to get her heart back?

This one was all romance, obviously. And I really liked it! I don't often read romances about characters in middle age, so it was fun to get into a different perspective. Gunn clearly loves the Canary Islands, off the western coast of Africa, and her descriptions are fun. I would say this book is more descriptive than a lot of her books are, so that's a little different. But I enjoyed the characters, the setting, the plot, and the minor tie-in to the Christy Miller series.

I also read Love Finds You in Sunset Beach, Hawaii. It appears to have been recently re-released as A Kiss at Sunset Beach. 

(From Christianbook.com)

When a wealthy friend offers Sierra Jensen a vacation at an oceanfront beach house on the island of Oahu, Sierra envisions a quiet retreat where she can figure out what to do now that she's at the crossroads in her life. The timing coincides with a wedding that puts her face to face with Paul, her high school crush and introduces her to Jordan, the wedding photographer. Sierra and Jordan connect unexpectedly the next day and feel the damaging effects of a tropical storm that brings in the big waves and launches the annual surfing competition. Sierra begins to wonder why she and Jordan connected the way they did. But Jordan's lens and attention are focused on the surfers and he is not willing to let anyone get in his way of landing the next cover shot for Surf Days magazine. Sierra and Jordan came to Sunset Beach looking for different things. But as the surf pounds the North Shore, will they discover something better than either of them had imagined?

I really enjoyed reading about Sierra Jensen all grown up and trying to figure out her life. The characters are interesting, and the plot is fun. But I think the most impactful part of the story was the message about grace and forgiveness and listening for God's voice.

The last Robin Jones Gunn book I read was Sandy Toes, another Christy Miller book. This is the series I have been waiting on the longest from the library - somehow, I got #1 and #3, but #2 was checked out for the longest time! Anyway, I'm still waiting to finish it because of that, but I really enjoyed this book. (Please note that the Christianbook link in the picture has the wrong description, but it is the right book).

And lastly, I've been working my way through Cornelia Funke's Inkspell. I don't know why this one is taking me so long to finish; it's an interesting book. For some reason I've just really slowed down reading the last couple weeks. I blame potty training! Anyway, I'm working on finishing that, which will be good. Then there's one more book in that series, Inkdeath. 

Next month's genre is Historical Romance, which I am very excited about. I've got a couple new books I haven't made time to read yet that will be perfect for that. What have you been reading lately? I'd love to hear about it in the comments! 

Thoughts from 2 Corinthians

In my continued reading of Paul's epistles (I am almost finished with the project), here are some of my favorite verses and thoughts from reading 2 Corinthians. I have a lot of verses that I wrote down but didn't add notes to, which, if I'm being honest, most likely means my toddler woke up before I was done and I had to hurry to finish. But the verses are the important part anyway.

2 Cor 1:21-22 "Now it is God Who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." 

Only in God do we have true strength. We try to stand up on our own, to do the right thing in our own strength. And we crumble. It is God's Spirit that gives us strength to withstand trials. What a gift the Holy Spirit is in our lives - comforting, strengthening, warning, and correcting. I think it's such neat imagery, too, to think of the Spirit as a seal and deposit.

2 Cor 2:15-16 "For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life."

The study note on this explains that Roman victory parades, which is where Paul's metaphor comes from, included a cloud of incense. And verse 14 talks about being captives in a triumphal procession. I believe there is another passage, too, that talks about being the aroma of Christ, but I can't seem to find it, so maybe I'm just imagining it. The whole point, though, is that our lives should be evidence of God's Presence. We should be different, and that difference should be clear. But it won't be pleasant to everyone. To those seeking truth and hope, we are a light. To those pursuing darkness, we are hideous and unwelcome. And we can't change that. All we can do is let the light of Christ shine through us.

2 Cor 3:17-18 "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, Who is the Spirit."

2 Cor 4:

v. 1 "Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart."

God has placed us where we are for a reason; He has a purpose for us in whatever situation we're in. And sometimes that purpose is just waiting, but that doesn't mean it's not His purpose. Let us remember that and not lose heart. 

v. 6 "For God, Who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ."

I love this connection, and it builds on the veiled faces discussion Paul had earlier in the letter. In Christ, the veil over our faces is removed and we can reflect the light and glory of God to others!

v. 7-9 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

The study note from my Bible: "... though we may think we are at the end of our rope, we are never at the end of our hope." Also, this takes me straight back to my childhood and music I listened to as a kid.

v. 16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

It's all about perspective. And reading back over this, it comes as a really good reminder.

2 Cor 7:5-6 "For when we came into Macedonia, we had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn - conflicts on the outside, fears within. But God, Who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus."

Paul did not have an easy life as an apostle and missionary. He was always on the move. He was taunted, attacked, shipwrecked, and imprisoned. He wrote often about finding joy in his troubles, but clearly there were times when he felt afraid and alone. God saw his struggle and sent him Titus as an encouragement. There are many times we feel cast down by life. But we are not alone. God sees our struggle, and He does not leave us alone. And, often, he uses us to remind others that they are not alone. Thus, it's even more important to listen the prompting of the Holy Spirit. We may be the voice of encouragement to someone else right when they are most cast down.

2 Cor 7:10 "Godly sorry brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

Courtesy of Pixabay

2 Cor 8:7 "But since you excel in everything - in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in the love we have kindled in you - see that you also excel in this grace of giving."

2 Cor 9:6-8 "Remember this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

2 Cor 10:3-5 "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Human weapons and strategies are nothing against the power of God. That power, which lives within us as a gift, allows us to take down falsehoods, both without and within our own minds. It also gives us the power to confront falsehoods afflicting others, when we are so prompted by the Holy Spirit. 

2 Cor 10:18 "For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends."

2 Cor 11:14-15 "And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve." 

I found this passage really interesting. And a little chilling, honestly.

2 Cor 12:9-10 "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

It's really hard for me to say this same thing. Although I do believe that God's grace is sufficient for me, I struggle to rejoice in trial and weakness. All I can see sometimes is the frustration and failure. Yet God is with me always, even in my failure. When I realize that I am not strong enough, then His strength can take over. When I admit that I can never be good enough, then His grace can shine through me.

 

Have you read 2 Corinthians lately? What do these verses say to you? I'd love to hear about it in the comments!

I've Decided to Start Bible Journaling

So, here's the thing. I'm a words person. I process things by talking and writing. And this has always been true with my Bible reading, as well. Yet I've never made notes in my Bible. For some reason that stems from I-don't-really-know-where, I've always felt sacrilegious about making any kind of mark in my Bible. 

I've journaled alongside my Bible reading for a long time. I've always called it a prayer journal, but really it's more of a devotional, observational journal on what I'm reading in my Bible, with occasional prayers written down. Until recently, that's what I thought of if I heard the term "Bible journaling." Now I'm coming to realize that it refers more to actually writing things down in your Bible, alongside the text. Maybe not universally, but perhaps more stereotypically, it especially refers to artistic illustrations and pretty notes in your Bible. If you type in "Bible journaling" on Pinterest, you'll find plenty of examples of what I mean. 

I recently got to thinking about this more because of some videos I've been watching from the Youtube channel How to Faith a Life. She's got some really interesting stuff, and I'm just starting to get into some of it. I do recommend her videos analyzing worship music. But she had a couple videos that particularly made me start thinking about this topic - How I Bible Journal and Bible Journaling Hacks. Until I saw those, I hadn't even really thought about doing in-depth notes in my Bible. I had toyed with the idea of a note here and there, but, again, I have always struggled with feeling sacrilegious about that. But here was a seminary student and pastor's wife showing how well-used and in-depth her in-Bible notes are. And I began to wonder if I could do that.

As I was mulling that over, I came across a couple more videos, this time from Justine Cheri Ordway - Let's talk about Bible journaling..., in which she explains why she completely stopped the practice, and a follow up video 6 months after doing so. What Justine struggled with was the trap of artistic journaling in her Bible - she felt pressured, she felt like she wasn't good enough at it, and she felt like she was losing touch with the true joy of reading God's Word. I think all of those issues are important and speak to the potential dangers of artistic Bible journaling. As I was looking up Bible journaling on Pinterest for this post, I came across this article - Why Not to Do Bible Journaling - that speaks to a lot of the same issues. 

Now, if you are someone who enjoys drawing in your Bible, I'm not going to sit here and say that's a bad thing. Only you and God can know your heart. I'm really not particularly artistic, so any attempt by me at that would only be distraction. But, as I've been thinking about this topic, I've realized that's not what I want to do, anyway. I don't want to try adding illustrations and pretty artwork to my Bible. If I want to be artistic with Scripture, I'll use one of my coloring books - this one of the Psalms is super fun. I want a way to add what I already do in a separate notebook to my Bible. I have a lot of notes going back years - prayer journaling, sermon notes, etc. But they're all in scattered notebooks, and I don't usually go back and look through them. So, while they were beneficial to me in the moment, they don't add a lot to my further study. When I go back to a passage I've read before, I might remember a little bit, but I don't have those notes in front of me to aid me in going deeper into that passage. Instead, I'm always stuck at a semi-surface level with that passage. There's also that saying that "Bibles that are falling apart belong to people whose lives are not." I have always tended to treat my Bible with kid gloves, wanting it to be pristine. But I don't think that's a good way to look at it. I think it's good to be reverent with your Bible, but I don't want to be so careful with it that I don't use it.

I want to go deeper. I want to add to my knowledge, but more importantly, I want to open my heart to what God is saying. I want to understand Scripture in context, and I want to let it speak into my life. So, I've decided to dip my toe in and try something new. The problem is that my current Bible doesn't really have a lot of space for that kind of thing. It's a really nice study Bible that my parents gave me when I graduated from high school (if I remember correctly). I love that Bible! It's got great context at the beginning of each book, and the study notes have some wonderful application that I get a lot out of. I have no intention of every getting rid of that Bible. And I still have some slight hesitation about writing on those super thin pages. This might take me a bit to get over... Anyway, I decided to get a specific journaling Bible. This is the one I ordered - ESV Journaling Bible, Interleaved Edition. It was on sale
(still is, looks like), and that's the one I believe Faith from How to Faith a Life uses. It's really cool because it has an entire blank page next to every page in the Bible. So lots of room! It's described as being "Patterned after the Bible that Jonathan Edwards, the 18th-century preacher and theologian, used to record more than 5,000 notes about God's Word." I've heard about Edwards' prodigious notes before, but it's been a long time since I looked into it. I think that's really a cool way to think about it. 

I've always used the NIV translation for my Bible, so contemplating a new version was a bit of a nail biter for me. But I've always heard good things about the ESV, and it's fairly similar to the NIV. Besides, I think it's a great practice to have different translations on hand - often you will get more context for a verse or passage. So I did it. I bought a new Bible. It should get here toward the end of this month, and then I'll see what I'm working with. I have every intention of continuing to use my study Bible. I think they'll work well alongside each other, and I will probably use that one when I just want to sit down and read a passage. 

It will take me a while to get into a groove, I think. I know for sure that I don't want to put frivolous notes in this Bible. I don't want it to be a place where I put just anything and everything that pops into my mind. But I think it will be a great place for things I learn about historical context and word origin. It will be a place for solid sermon notes and real life application. I do think you can be sacrilegious just putting whatever you want on the pages of the Bible, but I'm coming to a place of realizing that writing itself is not wrong. It can be good and helpful, and that's what I want it to be. 

I will most likely still use a notebook sometimes. I want to get better at actually writing prayers down, and that will be a good place for those. And, like I said, not every thought should go in my Bible. Some things are helpful to write down, process, and then move on from, and I think that's true with Bible reading, too. I'm excited about this, though. I'm excited for the possibilities.

Have you ever done any form of Bible journaling? How do you like to study God's Word? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!