“Misnamed”: A Dialogue Sketch

Very quickly, I’d like to remind you all that you can still sign up for my Flash Fiction Challenge, which can be found here. Flash fiction is an awesome way to stretch your writing muscles without taking up too much time, and I’d love to have you participate!

Anyway, without further ado, today I want to share with you a short little interaction I wrote between the characters “Me”, “Myself’”, and “I”. Each is considered to be a separate person in this dialogue. This was written mostly for my own amusement and isn’t perfect, but hopefully you’ll enjoy it!

Misnamed

Me: I say, what a capitol day this is!

I: Excuse me? I said no such thing!

Me: *disdainful glance* You’re excused.

Myself:  Hey, be nice!

Me: *raises an eyebrow* Who invited you, anyway?

Myself: *confused look* You wasn’t invited. *gestures* See, he’s not here. It’s just the three of us.

Me: *rolls eyes**tapping his head, whispers to I* I think he’s a few wires short, personally.

I: *disgusted look* Will you kindly stop giving my opinions in my stead? I think no such thing, and you have no right to say so.

Me: *dryly* You isn’t here, remember?

I: *sighs*

Myself: *hesitantly* Well, I – oh, pardon me, when I use “I”, I mean me, or, no, I mean myself -

Me: *rolls eyes*

Myself: I think it’s a good day, too.

I: *hides a smile* Indeed. Wipe that ridiculous scowl off your face, Me.

Me: *innocently* Me? I wasn’t doing anything.

I: *narrows eyes* Watch it…

Myself: *wide eyes* Don’t argue!

Me: *glances over* Worry about yourself.

Myself: Why would I worry about yourself? Have I met him?

Me: *growls* Why are you here?

Myself: *frowns* You isn’t – oh wait, look! *brightens* There’s You!

I: *turns* Look at that. Good morning, You.

You: *shuffles forward, looking disheveled as usual* What? Oh, hello, I, Me, Myself. *furrows brow, mutters* Oh, oh.

I: *exchanges glance with Me* Is something troubling you this morning?

You: *pinched face* Oh, always, always! *mournfully* I can’t take the stress anymore!

Myself: What stress?

You: Oh, this, that, me, you, I…I can’t take it! *shuffles away, muttering*

I: Poor soul. His name is used so often for someone else that he can’t keep things straight.

Myself: If only everyone would just use the right words.

Me: *chuckles darkly* Right. Even you, oh conscientious one, can’t keep the titles straight.

Myself: *glances nervously after You* Shh! Don’t make it worse.

Me: *sighs* If only I could find the solution…

I: *suspicious glance* And who is I in that sentence?

Me: Why you, of course.

Myself: *distressed* Guys!

Me: *laughs* Don’t stress out, Myself. Everyone knows that I’m the smart one in this group. *strolls off whistling*

Myself: *furrows brow* What?

I: *sighs* Come on. Get back here, Me! *runs after him*

Myself: And I thought my name was hard enough to keep straight!